elifementor

Well, some technical difficulties last week. Blog startups are fun!

We continue with our twenty questions this week, because they are really important, and the posts are already written.

For review, the first four questions were:

What questions should I be asking?

Is this what I want to be doing?

Why worry?

Why do like _____ more than _______?

Print this blog out and answer the first four, or you can email me for a workbook at tjcerafici@elifementor.com.

Your relationship with yourself and the world matters

How you relate to the world around you is vitally important to recognizing answers. They may not always come to you in the form of a friend, or a book. Quite often, you feed yourself quiet clues about things: as my grandmother used to say, “I feel it in my bones.” These are “bone questions.” Your answers will come from a few minutes of though each day.

How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?

Most of us are ingrained with the idea that we’re supposed to DO SOMETHING with our lives. Maybe we resist that fact. But in a very real physical sense, the world is different because you’re in it. Your existence is a part of that broader history, and when you die, the soil around your grave will be different for your decomposition. By interacting with people, you change their lives. People interacting with you change you. So, how are you going to direct that effort? How are you going to direct that effort in your professional life? Think about it, write about it, and design you life. Act. Don’t be acted upon.

How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?

This question follows the first. Regardless of your claimed lack of ambition your life is going to change the world. The real question is: How will you let the world change you? Make a list, and keep it next to your habits. Understand positive influences in your life as well as negative ones, and decide which give you the biggest charge. This won’t control your future, but it will shape it.

Are {people who drive electric cars} better people?

You fill in the brackets. The brackets stand for any virtue squad. Substitute the virtue squad that makes you feel worst about yourself, the one you’ll never have the discipline to join, whether it’s ultra-marathoners or vegetarians. Whatever group you’re asking about, the answer to this question is no.

Your relationship with yourself matters.

What is my body telling me?

We often think that our brains make all the decisions. Our subconscious is powerful, though, and if we don’t listen to it, our bodies surely do. The body knows better. It’s a wise, capable creature. It recoils from what’s bad for us, and leans into what’s good. If something’s right you’ll feel it in your bones. If it’s something wrong for you, you’ll probably end up sick, or at the very least, confused.

What’s my excess baggage?

Lao Tzu said: “To become learned, each day add something. To become enlightened, each day drop something.” Decide what your excess baggage is and drop it. Start with negative thoughts about yourself and your abilities that have no basis in reality. Then start focusing on the stagnant relationships, outdated thinking, and unnecessary things cluttering up you life and apartment.

What’s so funny?

You need to laugh. We change physiologically when we laugh. We stretch muscles throughout our face and body, our pulse and blood pressure go up, and we breathe faster, sending more oxygen to our tissues. One study of 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. After eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. On the next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After the comedy, the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after the lecture. Laughter helps create serotonin and related “feel good” hormones. Laugh. I’m absolutely convinced I passed both the Utah and Idaho bar exams because I watched Monty Python’s flying circus between study sessions. Whatever cracks you up is going to open your mind, focus your thinking and create a sense of bonhomie.